Revenge!

Bathroom Poem for Those of Us With Septic Tanks

Those of us with septic tanks,
Would like to give a word of thanks,
For putting nothing in the pot,
That isn't guaranteed to rot.
Kleenex is bad, cigarettes too,
Feminine products are taboo,
No hair combings please - use the basket.
There's a very good reason why we ask it.
With your kind cooperation
We'll keep our tank in operation!
--Author Unknown

Actually, these are good rules to follow for any septic or sewer system.

Snapdragon Time

I just wanted you to know I have entered the snapdragon part of my life.


part of me has snapped ...

and the rest of me is draggin'

The Real Meaning of Courage

What's the meaning of courage?

Is it to fight a bull in a bullring?

Is it to drive a formula 1 car?

Is it to fly a fighter into combat?

Is it to practice free fall parachuting?

Is it bungee jumping or white water rafting?

Is it to gamble your salary on a coin toss?

Is it to insult the doorman in a bar?

Is it to insult your boss?
Bullsh!t.....that's nothin'.


THIS is COURAGE!!!

An Atheist in the Woods

An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!’
'What powerful rivers!’
'What beautiful animals!’
he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.



He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him...



At that instant the Atheist cried out,
'Oh my God!'

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'

'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?’
‘Am I to count you as a believer?’

The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?’

'Very well,' said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:



'Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'