Gingembre's Place

A Grave Situation

2010-03-01T11:29:00.002-05:00

Embrace Life - always wear your seat belt

2010-02-26T11:44:00.001-05:00

Wear it out of love for those who love you.

Lovemaking Tips for Seniors

2010-02-19T11:04:00.003-05:00

1. Wear your glasses. To make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, In case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
6. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want... The neighbors are deaf too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!
10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

Irish Toast

2010-02-11T10:48:00.002-05:00

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!'

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the best toast of the night.'

She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?'

John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'

'Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at
the pub with a toast about you, Mary...'

She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'

Five Minute Management Course

2010-02-07T10:54:00.004-05:00

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’
‘It was Bob the next door neighbor,’ she replies.
‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’ Puff! She’s gone.
‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’ Puff! He’s gone.
‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’
The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. ‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’
‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly
dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keepyour mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

an oldie but goodie

A True Friend

2010-01-30T10:14:00.003-05:00

Asked at the climate summit...

2010-01-28T23:09:00.001-05:00

What thinking outside the box will get you

2010-01-18T12:40:00.001-05:00

Phillip Toledano: days with my father

2009-09-27T11:06:00.005-04:00

Not everyone has a father they love and admire as much as Phillip Toledano did his, but most of us can still appreciate the bond between these two men and the beauty of the images and the prose found in the photo essay days with my father. I was moved to tears.

Swollen Knees

2009-09-21T10:57:00.000-04:00

Revenge!

2009-09-20T10:53:00.003-04:00

Bathroom Poem for Those of Us With Septic Tanks

2009-08-25T10:58:00.001-04:00

Those of us with septic tanks,
Would like to give a word of thanks,
For putting nothing in the pot,
That isn't guaranteed to rot.
Kleenex is bad, cigarettes too,
Feminine products are taboo,
No hair combings please - use the basket.
There's a very good reason why we ask it.
With your kind cooperation
We'll keep our tank in operation!
--Author Unknown

Actually, these are good rules to follow for any septic or sewer system.

Snapdragon Time

2009-04-22T12:50:00.000-04:00

I just wanted you to know I have entered the snapdragon part of my life.

part of me has snapped ...

and the rest of me is draggin'

The Real Meaning of Courage

2009-03-26T15:12:00.003-04:00

What's the meaning of courage?

Is it to fight a bull in a bullring?

Is it to drive a formula 1 car?

Is it to fly a fighter into combat?

Is it to practice free fall parachuting?

Is it bungee jumping or white water rafting?

Is it to gamble your salary on a coin toss?

Is it to insult the doorman in a bar?

Is it to insult your boss?
Bullsh!t.....that's nothin'.

THIS is COURAGE!!!

An Atheist in the Woods

2009-03-03T00:09:00.003-05:00

An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees!’
'What powerful rivers!’
'What beautiful animals!’
he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him...

At that instant the Atheist cried out,
'Oh my God!'

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

'You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident.'

'Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament?’
‘Am I to count you as a believer?’

The atheist looked directly into the light, 'It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?’

'Very well,' said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen.'

Monkey Business

2009-01-31T11:49:00.008-05:00

Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.

The villagers, knowing there were many monkeys, went to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.
He then announced that he would buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed the villagers efforts and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would buy on his behalf.
The assistant told the villagers, "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that my boss has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when my boss returns, you can sell them to him for $50."

The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of monkeys!

Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works !!!

It doesn't get much clearer than this....

Now imagine transactions involving millions of monkeys, with villagers borrowing money at high interest to the point of risking all they owned and creating huge debt for their children and grandchildren, and you will have a better understanding of why the stock market losses are so devastating.

The Book of Negroes

2009-01-29T11:26:00.004-05:00

I finished The Book of Negroes two days ago. It is a very good read, all about slavery and man's inhumanity to man, as you might expect. But what was especially interesting to me was the emphasis on Black Loyalists and how they were treated by the Brits. The only flaw that I noticed, and felt quite keenly, was that all whites are portrayed as awful human beings while all blacks are not--just some of the blacks are, and most of those have excuses made for them--they had to do what they did to survive. All whites are portrayed as weak or evil or pathetic. Even the abolitionists are described unfavorably. So that put me off a bit. Otherwise it is a fascinating work of historical fiction, obviously quite well-researched by the author.

The CBC has a good interview with the author, Lawrence Hill, here, in which he discusses various aspects of his book and how it relates to Canadian history.

Martin Luther King Jr.: "I Have A Dream"

2009-01-19T21:20:00.000-05:00

Remembering Dr. King today, the holiday commemorating his birthday.

August 28, 1963, at the Lincoln Memorial

Winter Poem

2009-01-17T14:17:00.000-05:00

WINTER POEM

It's winter in Northern Ontario
And the gentle breezes blow
Seventy miles an hour
At twenty-five below.

Oh, how I love Northern Ontario
When the snow's up to your butt
You take a breath of winter
And your nose gets frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful
So I guess I'll hang around
I could never leave Northern Ontario
I'm frozen to the freakin' ground!

Poor Frosty

2009-01-03T20:11:00.005-05:00

An oldie but goodie, this makes me smile every time I see it. (Click to enlarge)

The Priest's Baby

2008-11-28T11:16:00.004-05:00

A woman starts dating a doctor. Before too long, she becomes pregnant and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a prostate gland infection.

The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."

"Do you think it will work?" she asks the doctor. "It's worth a try," he says.

So the doctor delivers the baby and then operates on the priest.

After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father, you're not going to believe this."

"What?" says the priest. "What happened?" "You gave birth to a child."

"But that's impossible!"

"I just did the operation," insists the doctor. "It's a miracle! Here's your baby."

About fifteen years go by, and the priest realizes that he must tell his son the truth. One day he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to tell you. I'm not your father."

The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?"

The priest replies, "I'm your mother. The archbishop is your father."

Why all the hate mail smearing Barack Obama?

2008-11-20T21:12:00.005-05:00

I am having a hard time understanding why people are sending hate mail smearing Barack Obama, our President-elect, when he has not done anything to deserve it. Let's give him a chance to show what he and his administration can do before badmouthing him. I admire him for not lowering himself to the level of those who smear him and believe that he truly wants to unify our country and make it better for every citizen. He certainly has his work cut out for him. Let's give him our support and help him in his efforts. That is what people who love America will do.

A few minutes ago I sent the above paragraph to a relative in Mississippi who persists in forwarding hate mail to me--racist and otherwise derogatory remarks and "jokes" that are offensive and unwarranted. The relatively mild one that triggered my response this evening was an old Osama bin Laden joke in which he sends the White House a coded message--370H-SSV-0773H--that the President and all his advisors, the CIA, and the FBI cannot figure out but that a leader of another country can easily decipher. The Conservatives have brought this "joke" out of mothballs and made Barack Hussein Obama the stupid President and ex-POW McCain and staff the brilliant ones who easily see that the President is holding the message upside down. Already Obama is being ridiculed for not capturing bin Laden! Sigh.

In a short preface to my message I pointed out that George W. Bush is the rightful butt of that joke and the one who failed to capture bin Laden.

Whether my words will have a positive effect on my relative is yet to be seen, but I just cannot condone the sending and receiving of hate mail by not speaking out against it. With the knowledge comes the responsibility.

Teach peace.

Do Not Swallow Chewing Gum!

2008-11-04T18:00:00.011-05:00

Those poor, poor young women--see how they strain!

Message to Mr. McCain

2008-11-03T17:41:00.002-05:00

She is such an embarrassment and liability for Americans that I can hardly bear the thought of anyone casting a vote for this woman. No, this is not a woman that American women have been waiting for all these years.

The World Is Too Much With Me...

2008-10-20T14:19:00.000-04:00

Why I have not been blogging much lately....

"THE WORLD IS TOO MUCH WITH US; LATE AND SOON"

THE world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers:
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
The Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not.--Great God! I'd rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn.
--William Wordsworth

from My Medicated Life

from My Medicated Life

from MedlinePlus

A Class Act

2008-10-17T21:59:00.000-04:00

Senator Obama has such class. And wit. This is a joy to watch.

Service With a Smile

2008-09-25T20:34:00.005-04:00

I became confused when I heard these terms which reference the word 'service'.

Internal Revenue 'Service'

U.S. Postal 'Service'

Telephone 'Service'

T.V. 'Service'

Civil 'Service'

City & County Public 'Service'

Customer 'Service'

and 'Service' Stations

This is not what I thought 'service' meant.

But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said

he had hired a bull to 'service' a few cows.

BAM!!!

It all came into perspective.

I now understand what all those 'service' agencies are doing to us.

I hope you are as enlightened as I am.

Jackasselope Spotted At Rural Residence!

2008-06-29T18:49:00.003-04:00

My husband discovered this creature by the woodshed and shot it with my camera today. Until seeing the photo I had never seen a jackasselope, and will no doubt have nightmares after viewing it.

It's so ugly that it's almost cute. But, hey, it splits wood! And it attracts black flies, drawing them away from other living creatures.

Who couldn't use one of these?

Itipini Community Project & Mthatha Mission

2008-06-29T13:45:00.001-04:00

clipped from www.youtube.com

Itipini Community Project

clipped from mthathamission.blogspot.com

There are several people I see regularly around Itipini who are about my age. It is impossible to look at them and not think about the wildly divergent paths our lives have taken since 1982. Often they have a child (or children), many have HIV, virtually none has a high school diploma, none has a formal job, and all live in tumbling-down shanties that barely deserve the word. As I’ve gotten to know them over the months, I’ve realized many of them are also quite talented, funny, intelligent, and hard-working, and, really, not all that different from me.

What’s been different, of course, is the opportunities available to us by virtue of where we were born and where and how we were raised

I had access to supportive parents, good schools, and an economy that produced opportunities like this one, among a whole host of other advantages. My peers in Itipini had almost none of that

clipped from mthathamission.blogspot.com

My high-school English students

clipped from mthathamission.blogspot.com

Noncedo

Mthunsikazi

Nonzuzo

Luleka

Nonhlazo

Ayabonga

Lindiwe

I've been following Jesse Zink's blog Mthatha Mission for many months. When I ran across the video today, which incorporates some of his photos, I put the the video and Jesse's excellent blog together to share both with others who may not know of the work being done to help the people who, by accident of birth, live in the Itipini community outside Mthatha, South Africa.

Travel Alberta To See These Unique Attractions!

2008-06-27T10:00:00.004-04:00

TravellingAlberta.com offers one-of-a-kind oil sands vacation packages

Edmonton, Canada — As the Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers (CAPP) embarks on a synchronized propaganda campaign aligned with the Province's "rebranding" of the tar sands, Greenpeace has launched its own website to counter the greenwashing.

TravellingAlberta.com is a tongue-in-cheek travel site that uses humour to communicate a very serious issue to Canadian and international audiences about the destructive nature of the world's largest industrial development. The website showcases showcases some of the unique attractions that await travelers to Alberta: Black sand beaches, toxic lakes and clearcut forests. Until now, this kind of vacation destination was merely the stuff of science fiction; but now, it can be experienced first-hand.

"We thought we'd help the province and CAPP with their "rebranding" campaign by bringing Alberta's newest tourist attractions to the world's doorstep. Any visitor to the Alberta tar sands can see the pollution, smell the sulfur, taste the toxins and hear the air cannons — we're saving them the trip," says Mike Hudema, a tar sands campaigner with Greenpeace.

"Premier Ed Stelmach and CAPP can spend 25 million dollars of tax payers' money trying to cleanup the image of the tar sands, but this development is still dirty, ugly and foul. That money would be much better spent cleaning up the tar sands themselves, rather than just the global image."

But while a real cleanup of the area is still a way off, the current state of northern Alberta offers a rare treat for the seasoned globetrotter who's craving something new. A seemingly endless expanse of bitumen-laden sands — coupled with the powerful scent of oil from refineries wafting through the hazy air — makes Northern Alberta a truly one-of-a-kind destination. As the long weekend approaches and families make their summer vacation plans, TravellingAlberta.com offers these adventure tips:

* Diversion surfing: Catch a wave, Alberta-style, and join Big Oil in taking advantage of the nearly 92 billion gallons of water diverted from provincial rivers each year!
* Animal sightings: Moose playing in tailings ponds, loons drenched in tar and ducks sinking in oil: it's not everywhere that you can see some of Canada's most prized wildlife in these unique settings. Hurry though! They're going fast!
* Tailings sailing: Come enjoy the vast lakes of toxic water, so big they're visible to the naked eye from space! Chase that horizon, but be careful not to capsize!
* Fun in the sun: Forget Cancun, Alberta is sizzling! Boasting more greenhouse gas emissions than Canada's three other most populous provinces combined, it's really heating up out here!

Greenpeace will promote the website internationally, calling on visitors to share the site with friends and to write Premier Ed Stelmach, Travel Minister Cindy Ady and Prime Minister Stephen Harper to demand they put the brakes on tar sand development.
TravellingAlberta.com

Memorable Merriment From The Divine Miss M

2008-06-23T21:54:00.009-04:00

The 1985 appearance of the Bette Midler on the Johnny Carson Show is one of my all-time television favorites. Over the years I've often thought about her hilarious rendition of "Fit or Fat (Fat As I Am)" and wished to see it again. Through the combined miracles of the Internet and YouTube my wish came true this evening, when I found this gem:

Fit or Fat (Fat As I Am)

Fat as I am.
Who wants to see a diva fat as I am?
I get mistaken now for Lainie Kazan.
How is it that I'm fat as I am?

Fat as I am.
The camera's gonna add a ton to my can.
This is the way they say Godzilla began.
How did I get as fat as I am?

"Try it again."
All of my friends say I should diet again;
That all my fans are gonna riot again.
"Look what happened to Liz."

All of my sins
are not as numerous as . . . all of my chins!
I could audition for the Doublemint twins.
No one in the biz is as fat as I is.

Ah, but what's a career
when you put it next to knackwurst and beer?
They could park a DC10 on my rear.
God knows I got the gas!

There goes the chair.
But to tell the truth, I'm too fat to care!
I ate a meatball off the floor right over there.
Ah, you don't give a damn
when you're fat as I am!

--Bette Midler, from Mud Will Be Flung Tonight!

Priceless!

Release Our Activists

2008-06-22T11:16:00.002-04:00

Release our activists

Open Season on Canadian Water

2008-06-20T19:43:00.001-04:00

clipped from www.cbc.ca

Lakes across Canada face being turned into mine dump sites

Lakes are in B.C., Manitoba, Newfoundland and Labrador, NWT and Nunavut

Bush pilot Doug Beaumont and environmentalist Jim Bourquin fish on Kluela Lake, downstream from the planned dump site for the Red Chris gold and copper mining project in northwestern B.C.

16 Canadian lakes are slated to be officially but quietly "reclassified" as toxic dump sites for mines. The lakes include prime wilderness fishing lakes from B.C. to Newfoundland

Environmentalists say the process amounts to a "hidden subsidy" to mining companies, allowing them to get around laws against the destruction of fish habitat.

Under the Fisheries Act, it's illegal to put harmful substances into fish-bearing waters. But, under a little-known subsection known as Schedule Two of the mining effluent regulations, federal bureaucrats can redefine lakes as "tailings impoundment areas."

That means mining companies don't need to build containment ponds for toxic mine tailings.

"What Canadians need to know is that this year, from March 2008 to March of 2009, eight lakes are going to be subject to being put on Schedule Two, which is just about every mine that is going ahead this year is looking around, looking for the nearest lake to dump its waste into.”

Un. Frickin. Believable!

Time for this government to fall! C'mon, Dion, DO SOMETHING!

I'm Voting Republican

2008-06-19T08:56:00.001-04:00

Brilliant!

Jokes To Offend Nearly Everyone...

2008-06-18T19:24:00.007-04:00

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
10 years and 45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
'Are you sure it's mine?'

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blonde baby?
They named him 'Sum Ting Wong'

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
along with... a recipe

How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins with 'Once upon a time ...' -A southern fairytale
begins with 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t....

Why is there no Disneyland in Japan?
No one is tall enough to go on the good rides

I just HAD to try this....and am I ever glad that I did!

2008-06-06T16:35:00.004-04:00

Two weeks ago my friend Lynda in Tanzania posted Malva Pudding Recipe (You just HAVE to try this one!), tempting readers with a photo captioned "Such a simple looking pudding - but don't be fooled ! It's spongy, almost honeycomb like texture & sweet, syrupy sauce is out of this world delicious ....." My sweet tooth has yearned for this dessert since the moment I read those words.

Well, this afternoon I made my first Malva Pudding and I have to say that it is just as delicious as Lynda claimed it would be! Here is my Malva Pudding, before and after the sauce was added--I had to get the before photo quickly as the sauce is poured on as soon as the pudding comes out of the oven.

Before Sauce
After Sauce(Note bubbling as the hot, sweet sauce percolates down through the cake to create a pudding)

Of course I had to get the after photo quickly, too, as the desire to cut into the warm pudding was overwhelming. We ate our Malva Pudding warm, mmmmmoaning with delight at its rich, sweet taste and light texture.

This Malva Pudding recipe is easy to follow. The only difficulty I had was making the conversion from metric to American units. It helps to know that 5ml = 1 teaspoon, 15 ml = 1 tablespoon, 100 ml liquid = roughly 1/2 cup, 200 gm sugar = 1 cup, 150 gm sugar = 3/4 cup, and 150 gm flour = 1 & 1/4 cups. I mixed all the ingredients in my food processor and the batter was very, very smooth, and a little pink due to the strawberry jam. Yum! I baked it in a large casserole dish with a glass lid.

So Lynda, as usual, was right: Malva Pudding is so delicious that you just HAVE to try it! Anyone with a sweet tooth will love it. Check out Lynda's blog for recipes for many other tasty dishes.

A Father Goose Tale

2008-05-30T23:11:00.002-04:00

We live on a very rural, gravel road with dips and rises, a road cut through a forest and bisecting a stream that leads to one of the two lakes that can be seen from the roadside. The two lowest-lying areas are wet and marshy on either side of the road and have proven to be handy portages for Canada geese families traveling by foot from one lake to another. Why drag the goslings through the woods and underbrush when there is a clear path most of the way?

Yesterday I saw two pair of Canada geese, one pair at each portage site, both pair in the vegetation alongside the road. Well, today on my way to an appointment in town I encountered one pair of geese shepherding eight little goslings down the road. How sweet!

(Click images to enlarge)

When Father Goose began to feel threatened by my car he slowed down while Mother Goose continued walking with the babies, moving them toward the opposite side of the road, the side they would eventually exit on. I crept along, not wishing to alarm the geese yet needing to get into town. Father Goose slowed down even more and spread his beautiful tail feathers as a warning to me.

When I persisted in following him he stopped and bent his neck at me menacingly. His message was clear: Back off! His threat display was a treat to witness, and his valor in protecting his family was heartwarming. I know how aggressive Canada geese are when they have little ones so I kept a healthy distance away when I stepped out of the car for a couple of photos, didn't tarry long outside the car and even rolled my car windows up enough to prevent an attack from that angle.

We made a humorous procession, I'm sure--Mother Goose with six goslings by her side, Father Goose walking much more slowly several yards behind his family and stopping every few seconds to "gooseneck" and make threatening displays, and me in my car, creeping along slower than Father Goose, waiting for the family to reach their destination and get off the road.

Time passed. I needed to get going. What to do? I honked, hoping to speed up the geese a bit. Mother Goose nervously moved their brood to the side of the road, the goslings looked confused and Father Goose grew even more angry and menacing at the intruder on HIS road.

After the mother and babies left the road Father Goose refused to budge from his position in front of my car. For another quarter of a mile he walked ahead of me, crossing back and forth in front of my car, goose-stepping and making menacing displays while I trailed behind him, slightly embarrassed to be caught in such a position yet thrilled to witness, and be part of, this fierce display of bravado. It would have been so easy to have run over the valiant guy; another person may have done so, but not I. No, I let him lead me far away from his family, let him bully me into driving extremely s-l-o-w-l-y, let him fulfill his role of protector and maintain his dignity at the expense of my own.

When we reached the beginning of the downhill slope past our neighbors' driveway, the point at which the field of dreams comes into view, Father Goose finally decided to take wing. Off he flew, circling back to rejoin his family.

Coming home after an afternoon of errands I had forgotten about my encounter with Father Goose, but was quickly reminded when I came upon TWO pair of geese accompanied by their young: six with one set of parents and three with the other.

Once again a Father Goose slowed to force me to slow down and allow all the others to proceed safely. I was in no hurry and didn't mind creeping along at a goose's pace, but was amused at his goose-stepping and occasional goosenecking displays of protectiveness. Long after the other geese left the road at the entrance to the lake he continued to lead me up the road for at least an eighth of a mile before taking wing and allowing me to pass.

Goosenecking

Goose-stepping

Sights and encounters like this remind me of how wonderful it is to live where wildlife still make their home and raise their families. These geese, the mother fox with her three or four kits that we see occasionally near the entrance to their den in the field of dreams, the sandhill cranes that we look so forward to seeing each year in the field of dreams and in other fields as we drive along the back roads, the silly little partridges we see alongside the road, the woodcocks with their funny walk, the deer we see in the fields...all these and more (including the one black bear and two moose I've seen in our area) bring the my husband and I an enormous amount of joy.

The Audacity of Hate: An Email From Obama's Enemies

2008-05-26T13:27:00.008-04:00

Twelve days ago during our local monthly book club's exchange of views about books each of us had read or begun reading since our last meeting I related that I had just started reading Barack Obama's Dreams From My Father. One of the women, who apparently has been a member for quite a while but who I had not met until that day, is also an American married to a Canadian and living in this small town in northern Ontario. I am from Indiana. She is from the Deep South. To protect her privacy I won't use her name, but will call her D*.

Many people I've met here are familiar with American politics and know a bit about Barack Obama's quest for the presidency, so I anticipated some interest in his autobiographical bestseller written in 1995. D was the most interested, although she mainly projected concern; she said that she had received an email about Obama and statements he had made in his books that worried her and she would like to get my opinion of what she had received. I gave her my email address so that she could forward the email to me. The next day she sent me this:

Fw: The last excerpt is truly frightening!

Subject: Fw: The last excerpt is truly frightening! He is scary!!

-----In his own words...............this is scary.............

This guy wants to be our President and control our
government. Pay close attention to the last comment!!
Below are a few lines from Obama's books ' his words:

From Dreams of My Father: 'I ceased to advertise my
mother's race at the age of 12 or 13, when I began to
suspect that by doing so I was ingratiating myself to
whites.'

From Dreams of My Father : 'I found a solace in
nursing a pervasive sense of grievance and animosity
against my mothers race.'

From Dreams of My Father: 'There was something about
him that made me wary, a little too sure of himself,
maybe. And white.'

From Dreams of My Father: ; 'It remained necessary to
prove which side you were on, to show your loyalty to
the black masses, to strike out and name names.'

From Dreams of My Father: 'I never emulate white men
and brown men whose fates didn't speak to my own. It
was into my father's image, the black man, son of
Africa , that I'd packed all the attributes I sought
in myself, the attributes of Martin and Malcolm,
DuBois and Mandela.'

From Audacity of Hope: 'I will stand with the Muslims
should the political winds shift in an ugly
direction.'

Publication history for 'From Dreams of My Father'

* New York : Times Books; 1st edition (July 18, 1995); Hardcover: 403 pages; ISBN 0-8129-2343-X

o This printing is now very rare. Only a few signed copies are known, and are estimated to be worth up to $5,000 (depending on condition).

* New York : Kodansha International (August 1996); Paperback: 403 pages; ISBN 1-5683-6162-9
* New York : Three Rivers Press; Reprint edition (August 10, 2004); Paperback: 480 pages; ISBN 1-4000-8277-3
* New York: Random House Audio; Abridged edition (May 3, 2005); Audio CD; ISBN 0-7393-2100-5; Includes the senator's speech from the 2004 Democratic National Convention.
* New York : Random House Large Print; 1st Large print edition (April 4, 2006); Hardcover: 720 pages; ISBN 0-7393-2576-0
* New York : Crown Publishers (January 9, 2007); Hardcover: 464 pages; ISBN 0-3073-8341-5
* New York : Random House (January 9, 2007); Format: eBook; ISBN 0-3073-9412-3

Sigh. I mean, you can smell the malicious stink of hate and fearmongering in the subject line. But to be fair to my new friend and fellow American I read the contents of the email carefully, pondered how to respond, struggled with the wording of my reply to her and came up with this:

Hi D*

I'll look for these five excerpts as I read Dreams From My Father. I don't have Audacity of Hope to check out that last excerpt but I'll see if I can find it...I paged through the introduction to Dreams From My Father and found the first excerpt, which was indeed taken out of context. It's on page xv. He's writing about people having a hard time taking him at face value. He writes:

"When people who don't know me well, black or white, discover my background (and it is usually a discovery, for I ceased to advertise my mother's race at the age of twelve or thirteen, when I began to suspect that by doing so I was ingratiating myself to whites), I see the split-second adjustments they have to make, the searching of my eyes for some telltale sign. They no longer know who I am. Privately, they guess at my troubled heart, I suppose--the mixed blood, the divided soul, the ghostly image of the tragic mulatto trapped between two worlds. And if I were to explain that no, the tragedy is not mine, or at least not mine alone, it is yours, sons and daughters of Plymouth Rock and Ellis Island, it is yours, children of Africa, it is the tragedy of both my wife's six-year-old cousin and his white first grade classmates, so that you need not guess at what troubles me, it's on the nightly news for all to see, and that if we could acknowledge at least that much then the tragic cycle begins to break down..." (his wife's cousin's white classmates refused to play with him because of his skin color)

I'll get back to Obama's Dreams From My Father and look for the rest of the excerpts as they fit within their context. Obama has certainly been vilified by many Clinton supporters and many right-wingers, so I don't tend to believe at face value any bad things I read about him, especially things sent in emails. An awful lot of it is hate mail. I don't forward it. Often I reply to it, correcting falsehoods, and am careful to send my reply to all who received the hate mail along with me.

Hope you are enjoying this long weekend, cool and damp as it is. I'm spending it with my nose in a book. :)

D replied with:

Ginger, thank you so much for the thoughtful reply. I know that things are so often taken out of context.

I am not a supporter of Obama or Clinton...I don't care for the liberal (Democratic) party. If I had to make a choice out of the two I would go for Obama but I would be scared only because he is known in the senate as the most liberal senator.

Whoever happens to win, I pray that they are good, Christian, moral people.

During the past week I have spent many hours reading Dreams From My Father, most often at night in the quiet of my bedroom where I can concentrate better, free of the distractions of a talkative husband, the radio, and the movements and utterances of seven cats and a dog. My follow-up email to D today sums up how I feel about the Barack Obama and the American presidency, based upon what I read in Dreams From My Father and my perception of the American government in general and the current administration in particular:

Hi D*

I finished Barack Obama's Dreams From My Father this morning. I normally read much faster but this is a book that needs to be read slowly and thoughtfully to fully appreciate the soul searching and relationships revealed, especially in light of Obama's political status now. I was also trying to look for the other statements allegedly taken from the book and used to create the critical email you forwarded to me. The book was so deep and fascinating to me that I lost track of this secondary goal of looking for the statements, although I recall seeing a couple of them and could probably locate them in the book without too much difficulty now. I'm not sure that I will do that, though, because there is no need. If you read this book carefully and respectfully, seeking to understand his reason for writing it and all that he reveals, often with painful honesty, about himself--his intellect, his conflicts, his family relationships, his regrets, his celebrations and his integrity--I think that you will find that he is a conscientious leader, a man to be admired, not feared.

The big worry I have about Obama as President is the same worry I have for any President--the integrity, honesty and intelligence of those who will advise him. Just look at the current administration and the way his greedy, unscrupulous warmongering advisors have manipulated George W. Bush into making many horrible decisions with far-reaching impacts, including embroiling the US in the Iraq war with all its disastrous consequences. We have to look at who the President trusts to provide him or her with the information (*intelligence*) that will be used to make critical decisions affecting not only the United States but the world.

After finishing Obama's book I found this information about the emailed quotations allegedly taken from it and his Audacity of Hope. Take a look and see what you think. As I see it, that email is hate mail, maliciously designed to promote fear and turn people against Obama in order to satisfy the sender's own political agenda. It's sad that people stoop to such tactics.

There was much more that I could have written to D about Barack Obama and what he shared with the world in Dreams From My Father. There were inspirational passages and candid observations that I would like to have quoted; feelings of fascination and foreboding that arose when he began to write about Reverend Jeremiah Wright, knowing what I do now of this man's recent impact on Obama's presidential campaign; and my struggle to look at race through Obama's eyes, limited by my own race, gender, age, background and experiences. So much to digest and process and reflect upon. Too much to try to impart to a new friend from the Deep South with Christian convictions who doesn't "care for the liberal (Democratic) party".

I really want to read Audacity of Hope, which our local library supposedly has requested for me via interlibrary loan. That's the problem with living in a small town with a rudimentary library and being too poor to afford to buy new books--access to books I want to read is extremely limited. If it weren't for a friend who lives over an hour's drive from me I wouldn't have been able to read Dreams From My Father, as our library doesn't have it, either. Sad to say, when I put in the request for Audacity of Hope the long-time library staff member asked me to spell "Obama"--she had never heard of him. One could pass this lack of knowledge and resources off to the fact that Obama is an American rather than a Canadian author, yet I can assure you that that is not the case. There is much more to it than that, as books by other American authors can be found on the shelves and important Canadian writers are either poorly represented or not at all, but that is a topic for another post.

Growing Old Together...An Image of Old Love

2008-05-22T19:53:00.003-04:00

This lovely image came in an email the other day, undeservedly associated with a rather crude joke. I was struck by the comfort expressed and by the similarity to my own bed and sleeping arrangements--the bed frame, the quilt, the shoes, the cat at the foot of the bed, the woman's foot exposed.... Put the dog on the floor, add bookcases along the walls, cover the man's foot--and the resemblance is remarkable.

One of the things I love most about being married to my husband is sharing a bed with him, going to sleep with his arm around me, content. Once in a while I will go to bed early to read and he will fall asleep downstairs on the sofa--he tires more easily and earlier in the evening since his strokes--and I feel very lonely in bed without him. When I wake and he's not beside me I creep downstairs to make sure that he is okay.

Perhaps it's easier to live without loving someone so wholeheartedly that you fear losing him as much as I fear losing my husband. I don't know. I do know that before I met him I was incredibly lonely, especially at night. Work and volunteer activities kept me busy during the day and most evenings, but going to sleep alone was becoming increasingly difficult. Often I slept on the couch, ignoring my empty bed and comfortless bedroom. About a month before we met I had experienced insomnia for the first time in my life and had gone to my physician, who prescribed valium to help me sleep. I no longer needed it after we developed such a strong love for one another.

We've been together for a little over three years now, so our love could be considered to be relatively new, but we both feel that we've been together for a long, long time--that our love is old, comfortable and comforting, just like the image of old love above. We just have to enjoy it while we can.

My Life In Pictures...or, "Who, Meme?"

2008-05-20T09:32:00.021-04:00

Here you go, Lin!

1. What is your current relationship status?

2. What is your current mood?

3. What is your favorite band/singer?

4. What is your favorite movie?

5. What kind of pets do you have?

6. Where do you live?

7. Where do you work?

8. Who do you look like?

9. What do you drive?

10. What did you do on Saturday?

11. What did you do on Sunday?

12. What is your favourite network TV Show?

13. Describe Yourself

14. What is your favorite candy?

I won't officially tag anyone else, but if you want to accept this wordless meme challenge be my guest! (and if you are wondering how I made the pet mosaic, here's the secret)

I Found Your Dog Today...

2008-05-19T19:44:00.001-04:00

I Found Your Dog Today...

I found your dog today. No, he has not been adopted by anyone.
Most of us who live out here own as many dogs as we want,
those who do not own dogs do so because they choose not to.
I know you hoped he would find a good home when you left him out here,
but he did not. When I first saw him he was miles from the nearest house
and he was alone, thirsty, thin and limping from a burr in his paw.

How I wish I could have been you as I stood before him. To see his tail
wag and his eyes brighten as he bounded into your arms, knowing you
would find him, knowing you had not forgotten him. To see the
forgiveness in his eyes for the suffering and pain he had known in his
never-ending quest to find you...but I was not you. And despite all my
persuasion, his eyes see a stranger. He did not trust. He would not
come.

He turned and continued his journey; one he was sure would bring him to
you. He does not understand you are not looking for him. He only knows
you are not there, he only knows he must find you. This is more
important than food or water or the stranger who can give him these things.

Persuasion and pursuit seemed futile; I did not even know his name. I
drove home, filled a bucket with water and a bowl with food and returned
to where we had met. I could see no sign of him, but I left my offering
under the tree where he had sought shelter from the sun and a chance to
rest. You see, he is not of the desert. When you domesticated him, you
took away any instinct of survival out here. His purpose demands that he
travel during the day. He doesn't know that the sun and heat will claim
his life. He only knows that he has to find you.

I waited hoping he would return to the tree; hoping my gift would build
an element of trust so I might bring him home, remove the burr from his
paw, give him a cool place to lie and help him understand that the part
of his life with you is now over. He did not return that morning and at
dusk the water and food were still there untouched. And I worried. You must
understand that many people would not attempt to help your dog.
Some would run him off, others would call the county and
the fate you thought you saved him from would be preempted
by his suffering for days without food or water.

I returned again before dark. I did not see him. I went again early the
next morning only to find the food and water still untouched. If only
you were here to call his name. Your voice is so familiar to him. I
began pursuit in the direction he had taken yesterday, doubt
overshadowing my hope of finding him. His search for you was desperate,
it could take him many miles in 24 hours.

It is hours later and a good distance from where we first met, but I
have found your dog. His thirst has stopped, it is no longer a torment
to him. His hunger has disappeared, he no longer aches. The burrs in his
paws bother him no more. Your dog has been set free from his burdens,
you see, your dog has died.

I kneel next to him and I curse you for not being here yesterday so I
could see the glow, if just for a moment, in those now vacant eyes.
I pray that his journey has taken him to that place I think you hoped
he would find. If only you knew what he went through to reach it...and I
agonize, for I know, that were he to awaken at this moment, and (if) I
were to be you, his eyes would sparkle with recognition and his tail would
wag with forgiveness.--author unknown

If you feel as heartbroken as I do after reading this go to Help the Homeless Dogs!

After you die

2008-05-18T10:53:00.000-04:00

After you die...
Unstuck in Time

After death, you will become unstuck in time, and re-live various moments of your life. Time will cease to exist. One moment you will be learning to catch butterflies, the next you will be using your walker to go to the bathroom. You will live on forever in this way, constantly reliving the sweetest and not so sweetest of moments.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Lynda's Easy Chocolate Cake

2008-05-17T18:33:00.004-04:00

Lynda's Easy Chocolate CakeMade in Canada17May08

It tastes just as delicious as it looks! Go to Lynda's blog for the recipe and for her many interesting posts about life in Tanzania.

Church Ladies

2008-05-05T10:17:00.004-04:00

Maybe that's why the place they sit in church is called a "pew"! :D

Don't Look Down... El camino del Rey

2008-05-02T09:33:00.003-04:00

From this Wikipedia entry:

El Caminito del Rey (English: The King's pathway) is a walkway or via ferrata, now fallen into disrepair, pinned along the steep walls of a narrow gorge in El Chorro, near Álora in Málaga, Spain. The name is often shortened to El Camino del Rey.

In 1901 it was obvious that the workers of the Chorro Falls and Gaitanejo Falls needed a walkway to cross between the falls, to provide transport of materials, vigilance and maintenance of the channel. Construction of the walkway lasted four years. It was finished in 1905.

In 1921 the king Alfonso XIII had to cross the walkway for the inauguration of the dam Conde del Guadalhorce, and it became known by its present name.The walkway has now gone many years without maintenance, and is in a highly deteriorated and dangerous state. It is one meter (3 ft) in width, and is over 700 feet (200 m) above the river. Nearly all of the path has no handrail. Some parts of the walkway have completely collapsed and have been replaced by a beam and a metallic wire on the wall.

Cashew and Libby

2008-05-01T22:27:00.004-04:00

Received the following in an email today. Click image to enlarge.

For those of you who find critters as remarkable as I do . . . Meet Cashew the Lab, and her seeing eye cat, Libby. I wish for all our sakes that this was possible with humans. Aren't animals the nicest folks! ? ?

~You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I was just about to clip this touching story when I discovered that it had already been clipped. I'm so pleased! Now go pop this incredible story along.

Which Celebrity Is Your Pet? My Sadie Is Madonna!

2008-04-25T17:13:00.004-04:00

Wow, your dog is Madonna!

Madonna
American Queen

Come on, let's just face it: We are living in a material world, and Sadie is a material girl. So go ahead and thank your lucky stars—Sadie is the one and only Madonna!

Always desperately seeking attention, Sadie is multi-talented and savvy, not afraid to get her paws dirty and experiment with new methods of getting into the groove in order to reach her peeps. She commands respect everywhere she goes, a sophisticated traveler who insists upon the best—and more often than not, she gets what she wants. Appearance is everything for your true-blue diva and while her look may change as often as the Pellegrino in her water bowl does, her commitment to exercise is unwavering. Sadie's in tip-top shape, which makes her age in pet years a non-issue. Despite the hard fur and the no-nonsense approach, she's a softy when it comes to her devoted owner. It's fair to say that Sadie is, yes, crazy for you.

See for yourself! The resemblance is uncanny, no? :D

Find the Man in the Coffee Beans

2008-04-22T17:41:00.005-04:00

Click to enlarge

This is bizarre -- after you find the guy -- it's so obvious. Once you find him -- it's embarrassing, and you think, Why didn't I see him immediately?

Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, the right half of your brain is better developed than most people. If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, the right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between 1 minute 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein. If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger!

And, yes, the man is really there!

the above was received in an email today...

A bit of wisdom...from the back pew

2008-04-20T19:34:00.007-04:00

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.

After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's expanding salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.

After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us."

Silence fell on the congregation.

In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."

The entire congregation said, "Amen."

Is This Your Cat?

2008-04-14T20:26:00.005-04:00

(click to enlarge)

I believe I have seen this *cat* several times. Ha ha

Gaming Grandma

2008-04-10T10:22:00.003-04:00

Great detail--shawl, hairdo, earring, glasses, tongue peeking out signifying concentration, pink cup of tea on the console.... Brilliant! Kudos to whoever created this senior moment.

A Parent's Wish

2008-04-09T22:11:00.006-04:00

The Wooden Bowl story in my last post is a good message/parable for children to consider as their parents age, a reminder that their day, too, will come. A Parent's Wish presents a similar message in a heartrending slideshow accompanied by the music of Josh Groban. A good friend sent me this today.

Watch, reflect, and share.

The Wooden Bowl

2008-04-09T14:44:00.004-04:00

This has been emailed around for quite a while now, but it is such a good modern day parable to remember that I wanted to share it here. The insights at the conclusion of the story are also treasures. I've received this several times from several people. Read, reflect and share.

The Wooden Bowl

I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now.

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year -old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about father," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor."

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things:
a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life..'

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands.
You need to be able to throw something back.

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I've learned that you should pass this on to everyone you care about . I just did.

The Y Generation

2008-04-08T18:35:00.003-04:00

This one's for Old Horsetail Snake, in the beautiful state of Oregon, who enjoys posting wisecracks.

In its January 22, 2008 edition, the Quebec City newspaper, Le Soleil, had a topic about generations by age group.

Generations are grouped as follows:

- The Silent generation (aka The Greatest Generation), people born before 1945.

- The Baby Boomers, people born between 1945 and 1961.

- Generation X, people born between 1962 and 1976.

- Generation Y, people born between 1977 and 1989.

You ask why 'Y' ?.. .

A caricaturist explains it eloquently below...

No more deaths, please

2008-04-07T18:37:00.000-04:00

Protect Seals

Top-grade seal pelts are fetching only $33 now. Hardly worth the risk to human life and limb, is it? Hopefully the price per pelt will continue to decline and the cruel, unnecessary seal hunts will finally come to an end.

No more deaths, sealers or seals, from seal hunts!

What Dog Breed Are You?

2008-04-05T09:04:00.001-04:00

With Love From Beanie the Chicken

2008-04-04T21:21:00.002-04:00

For further displays of Beanie the Chicken's talents click here. She sure can play the piano!

Our Animals: Australia

2008-04-04T19:29:00.001-04:00

ABC TV's Our Animals

Crikey, how I love this educational site from the Australian Broadcasting Corporation!

Blogged with the Flock Browser

My Piggybank

2008-04-02T18:40:00.003-04:00

My piggybank after I bought gas this morning

(emailed from a wacky friend in Indiana)

HTML Lesson for Blog Comments

2008-03-31T22:06:00.004-04:00

If you need a clear lesson on how to use HTML code to enhance your blogger comments with italics, boldface and hyperlinks, check out this post by Robert Lindsay.

Stress Test: Do You Need A Vacation?

2008-03-31T14:27:00.002-04:00

The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress levels at St. Mary's Hospital.

Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical. A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins. The more differences a person finds between the dolphins, the more stress that person is experiencing.

Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you may want to take a vacation.

Kiss My Nose

2008-03-30T17:17:00.001-04:00

The Most Beautiful Rainbow

2008-03-29T17:49:00.000-04:00

While catching up on the dozens of email messages that accumulated while I was in hospital for four days I came across this timely one, forwarded by a friend back home in Indiana:

The Most Beautiful Rainbow

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that
wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You
will have your heart broken probably more than once and
it's harder every time You'll break hearts too, so
remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight
with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things
an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast,
and you'll eventually lose someone you love.. So take too
many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never
been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset
is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be
afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never
begin.

Beautiful, just beautiful. Thanks, Stacie.

Green Bananas

2008-03-29T16:20:00.007-04:00

There's a bittersweet old joke that comes to mind today:

"Doctor, Doctor, how much time do I have left to live?"

"Let's put it this way. Don't buy green bananas."

For the last few days I thought that I'd bought my last green banana because I've been very ill and in hospital until noon today. I have felt pretty grim and a little afraid that this was how I would end my days. It's a sobering thought. The doctor on call booted me out today, which is okay by me. It's good to be home again.

We stopped for a few groceries on the way home from the hospital and bought some green bananas, a symbol of hope for us both.

Animated Juggler

2008-03-24T12:29:00.001-04:00

This blows my mind!

I found this and a lot of other quirky humor and insights on Milt's Page.

A Different Kind of Senior Moment...

2008-03-23T18:42:00.002-04:00

(click on image to enlarge)

Webware 100: Vote Now!

2008-03-21T20:15:00.007-04:00

Be sure to vote for Clipmarks and Pageflakes and Google and, of course, Blogger! Go here to vote--odd that the link wasn't built into the "I voted" badge...

Ode to a Clean Refrigerator (or Look Who's Crying Over Spilled Milk)

2008-03-21T19:17:00.001-04:00

Spring Cleaning forced itself upon me yesterday when the top shelf of our refrigerator dropped on one side, upsetting the pitcher containing the recently opened 1.33 litre bag of milk (oh how I miss screw-capped milk jugs!). Milk quickly drenched the second and third shelf items, seeped into the crisper drawer and puddled on the floor of the fridge. To make matters worse, the dangling shelf upset a can of black beans that my beloved had opened less than an hour before while making me a tasty mid-morning wrap, spilling black bean juice that flowed along the second shelf and ran down to the third shelf. The bottoms of many bottles, cans and other containers of food were engulfed by either milk, black bean juice, or both. Ugh!

On the bright side, the refrigerator was long overdue to be cleared of the detritus that settles upon all but the obsessive-compulsive clean freaks, so the end results of the clean up, which entailed removing everything from the shelves and crisper drawers, was gratifying. The down side was that with my blood pressure looming so high of late this was chore that was risky as well as gross. The experience inspired me to write this poem today:

Ode to a Clean Refrigerator

Legumes languishing fuzzily in opaque cottage cheese
Containers so carefully washed for reuse join the
Dried husks of once-broccoli and the slimy remains of
Lettuce putrefying beneath a bag of carrots in the dreaded
Crisper drawer, decaying remnants of forgotten meals,
Exiled to the compost heap of life.
Worm food.

Gleaming chrome, sparkling glass shelves, and brilliantly white molded
Surfaces bask in the glory of redemption from
Sticky residues of opened jars carelessly set and
Spatters of unknown origin defiling the Clean, embedded with
Particles drawn in on currents filled with motes and fur,
Wiped away by my unwilling hand.
House work.
-----

From now on our milk will be transferred to a screw-capped jug--no more plastic bags with the tips cut off, waiting to topple and drench the contents of the refrigerator. (A quick Google search let me know that I'm not the only one annoyed by Canadian milk bags). Also, my beloved has promised to refrain from setting opened cans of beans or other foods in the fridge--he will cooperate in storing the food in sealed plastic containers, preferably clear ones to enable us to view their contents. Hopefully there will be no more crying over spilled milk...or other liquids...in the refrigerator!

For an interesting article about milk, including history, production, varieties, distribution (including packaging!), and culture aspects, take a look at this Wikipedia offering.

And for a fairly brief yet comprehensive history of the refrigerator see The History of the Refrigerator: The Cold Truth and Hard Facts, by Marjorie Dorfman at House Not So Beautiful "where dirt and chaos reign supreme". Sounds like home, except, for the moment, my clean refrigerator.

So it goes.

Male or Female???

2008-03-21T08:47:00.005-04:00

Should you be MALE or FEMALE?*
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Either

You brain is neither specifically male, nor female in the way you perceive your surroundings. As bad as this may sound to some, it can easily mean that you are capable of combining both gender aspects to your advantage. Rather than being genderless you are possibly able think freely. This does not mean that you are bisexual or androgynous or indecisive, but it might.

Either

82%

Female

64%

Male

64%

Neither

61%

Interesting result, eh? Of course I'm not surprised at all at my results, as I've never been a girly girl or a tomboy. When I was a university student long ago in Indiana a male classmate once told me that he liked me because I thought like a man. I was flattered, and obviously have always remembered his compliment. I supposed that the fact that I took his statement as a compliment confirmed his assertion.

I've always felt more comfortable in the company of men than with women. One of the few memories I have of my childhood is of an extended family get-together in my grandparents' hometown. Quickly bored by the women gossiping as they cooked in the kitchen, I sat in the living room with the pipe-smoking men, who were watching some ballgame on television and speaking much less frequently and *gossiply*. The cattiness of women appalls me.

For many years I was spared the disillusionment of learning that men can be just as catty and gossip just as much as women, but in the early 1990's some university professors put an end to my naivety. Now I don't trust any one, male or female.

Sad, puzzling news

2008-03-17T10:16:00.003-04:00

Last night I heard the sad news that the Canadian crossword champion's funeral took place yesterday. He was buried six down and three across.

O Canada

2008-03-16T14:03:00.001-04:00

It's been quite a while since I posted anything about the seal hunts in Canada, primarily due to frustration with the Canadian government's unwavering stance on the issue. My misanthropy is exacerbated by the callousness and barbaric maliciousness of people in general when it comes to the empathetic and ethical treatment of animals, including other humans. To be, and acutely feel, powerless to stop the cruelty causes me so much anxiety and depression that I can barely function. Combined with the seriousness of my husband's health problems for the past year and a half, and the uncertainty of how and where we will live from now on, my stress and distress levels have been excruciatingly high for some time now.

I do what I can to cope, and on occasion take the opportunity to sign a petition or send a letter pleading with officials to stop cruel acts over which they have jurisdiction or influence--not only for the beleaguered seals in Canada, but for wild and captive animals everywhere. It sucks that I can't do more than be an armchair activist. Life sucks much of the time. However, once in a while the stars are aligned such that a bit of enlightenment comes my way at a time when I feel up to writing a post that has at least some substance to it.

I am sick of excuses and rationalizations for animal cruelty. I don't understand the mentality of those who perpetrate and support the barbarism. I wish that I could stop them.

More Spam

2008-03-16T10:22:00.008-04:00

Speaking of spam, I find it amusing that each time I go to my gmail spam folder to check for legitimate emails that have been diverted there in error Google Web Clips provides me with a link to a SPAM™ recipe such as this one, received today from RecipeSource:

SPAM PRIMAVERA

Recipe By :
Serving Size : 8 Preparation Time :0:00
Categories : Misc

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 cn Spam, cut in strips
2 Carrots, thinly sliced
1 Zucchini, thinly sliced
1/4 c Finely chopped onion
1 Garlic clove, minced
6 tb Olive oil, divided
1 9 oz package linguini,cooked
1/2 c Grated parmesan cheese
2 tb Lemon juice
1/4 ts White pepper

1. In a large skillet, cook Spam, carrots, zucchini, onion and garlic in 3 Tbsps olive oil until vegetables are crisp and tender.

2. Toss together linguini, vegetable mixture, parmesan cheese, 3T olive oil, and lemon juice until well coated. Serve immediately.

Source: Geo. A Hormel Co, 1992

If you click on the SPAM™ link you'll have access to a whole new world of Spam. An auditory and visual PR trip: Wild!

For a look at SPAM™ versus e-mail spam, check out this Forward link.

Spammer Names

2008-03-15T20:18:00.010-04:00

Did you ever wonder how spammers come up with the names they use when they invite you to get out of debt quick or hit her G spot all the time or claim your free Viagra...? Names like Windo Bonestitcher or Hapless C. Mudflap or Washer Poultice used to cause me to wrinkle my brow, purse my lips, and wonder where on earth these names come from. Now I have a clue, and have been given my own spammer name:

My spammer name is Shall W. Collage.

If you're lucky you just might find Shall W. Collage in your spam folder one of these days, inviting you to Be a shagedelic casanova. Yeah baby! Yeah!!

A Complicated Order

2008-03-13T18:07:00.000-04:00

A Complicated Order

A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called over the head waiter one morning and said, "I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it's runny, and the other so over cooked it's tough and hard to eat. Also, grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it's impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm."

"That's a complicated order sir," said the bewildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult to prepare."

The guest replied, "Oh? But that's what I received yesterday!"

Time to cash in??

2008-03-13T17:26:00.001-04:00

$5390.00

The F Word: Flu

2008-03-09T18:39:00.005-04:00

When I started this blog my intent was to keep it fairly light and impersonal--just a hit-and-miss assemblage of a few of the things I find interesting or funny. A place to experiment with AdSense (I'm up to a total of about $2 now, haha). A website to validate myself, yet remain fairly anonymous, when I post comments on other people's blogs. A place to post amusing things I receive in emails so that I can clip them to Clipmarks. A place to post amusing things in a format that I can copy and paste to create a clever email to send to friends. A multi-purpose sort of blog, sans personal information.

From time to time, however, I think that a bit of personal information is warranted here. Now is such a time, because as I look at the paucity of posts over the last few months I am embarrassed by the impression of a lack of effort, interest, or both. Especially if people click the link to this blog to check out the person who made a comment on their blog or on a blog they are following. I toyed with the idea of giving up the blog, but decided instead to reveal a bit of myself in my explanation for not posting much lately.

Unfortunately the excuse is not that I've been too busy partying or traveling. No, the reason has to do with my husband's significant cardiovascular problems which combined with cold, gloomy winter weather have blanketed our household with a heavy mixture of anxiety and depression. For the last nine days my husband and I have been further undermined in body and spirit by a terrible flu that is going around. Since we seldom venture from home these days, I must have picked the virus up from someone at a meeting at the local library on the afternoon of February 28th. We both started feeling a little "under the weather" a day and a half later.

From that point on it was a rapid descent into flu hell--frequent prolonged sneezing, lots of mucous and congestion, excruciating muscle aches and pains, extreme fatigue, headache, sore throat.... No fever, though, that I know of. We reached a point when we thought we would die, and then moved on to the point of wishing we would die and be put out of our misery. One or the other of us was able to rally just enough to forage for food in the kitchen once in a while. I managed to make chicken soup Wednesday (March 5th) but was far too sick to attend an important meeting in town. I also had to miss the planning meeting the next day.

It wasn't until yesterday morning (Saturday)that we were able to creep into town to the grocery to replenish our supplies. We are still far from well, although, mercifully, the sneezing has ceased. My chest hurts down deep and it feels as if I'm being stabbed when I cough. I'm more short of breath than usual, probably due to the congestion, but as long as I just rest I can live with this and not panic. For some reason, though, my blood pressure has soared and I have to be very, very careful to not exert myself much. As if I felt like exerting myself. My poor husband, who feels at least as lousy as I do, has managed to keep body and soul together for our multitude of creatures, in both house and barn. He's a trooper.

Recently there have been other serious and heartbreaking events in my family back in the USA that I won't go into here. There's not been a lot of joy in my life lately, but I'm still hanging in, monkeying my way through life's trials and tribulations. I could use some good vibes if you have any to send my way.

A Strange Old Lady

2008-03-06T12:22:00.003-05:00

A very weird thing has happened.

A strange old lady has moved into my house. I have no idea who she is, or where she came from, or how she got in. I certainly didn't invite her. All I know is that one day she wasn't there and the next day she was.

She is very clever. She manages to keep out of sight for the most part; but whenever I pass a mirror, I catch a glimpse of her there; and when I look into the mirror directly to check my appearance, suddenly she is hogging the whole thing, completely obliterating my face and body. It is very disconcerting. I've tried yelling at her to leave but she just yells back, grimacing horribly.

If she is going to hang around, the least she could do is offer to pay rent. But no. Every once in a while I do find a couple of dollar bills on the kitchen counter, or some loose change on my bureau or on the floor, but that certainly isn't enough.

In fact, though I don't like to jump to conclusions, I think she steals from me regularly. I go to the ATM and withdraw a hundred dollars and a few days later, it's gone. I certainly don't go through it that fast, so I can only conclude the old lady pilfers it. You'd think she would spend it on some wrinkle cream, she certainly needs it.

And, the money isn't the only thing she's taking. Food seems to disappear at an alarming rate. Especially the good stuff...ice cream, cookies, candy...I just can't keep them in the house. She really has a sweet tooth. She should watch it; she's really putting on the pounds. I think she realizes that, and to make herself feel better, I know she is tampering with my scales so I'll think I am gaining weight too.

For an old lady, she's really quite childish. She gets into my closet when I'm not home and alters all my clothes. They're getting tighter every day. Another thing: I wish she'd stop messing with my files and papers on my desk. I can't find anything anymore.

Furthermore, when I program my VCR to tape something important, she fiddles with it after I leave the room so it records the wrong channel or shuts off completely.

She finds innumerable imaginative ways to irritate me. She gets all my newspapers, magazines and mail before me, and blurs all the print and she's done something sinister with the volume controls on my TV, radio and phone. Now all I hear are mumbles and whispers. She's also made my stairs steeper, all my knobs and faucets hard to turn and my bed higher and a real challenge to get in and out of.

I thought she couldn't get any meaner than that, but yesterday she proved me wrong. She actually came with me when I went to get my passport photo taken, and she actually stepped in front of the camera, just as the shutter clicked. Disaster! I have never seen such a terrible picture. How can I go abroad now? No customs official is ever going to believe that scowling face on my passport is me.

She's walking on very thin ice. If she keeps this up, I swear, I'll put her in a home.

Missing more than the point...

2008-02-29T17:20:00.001-05:00

The Difference Between Heaven and Hell

2008-02-23T12:13:00.005-05:00

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, "I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."

The Lord opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly and they appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a handful.

However, because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

The Lord said, "You have seen Hell."

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.

The people were equipped with the same long handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The holy man said, "I don't understand."

"It is simple," said the Lord. "It requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves."

Lesson from Nature: The Crow and the Kitten

2008-02-20T16:41:00.002-05:00

Thank you, ozricus !

What's Your Political Philosophy?

2008-02-18T14:28:00.001-05:00

What's Your Political Philosophy?

You scored as a Green

The Green Party believes in an America where decisions are made by the people and not by a few giant corporations. Their environmental goal is a sustainable world where nature and human society co-exist in harmony.

Green - 90%
Old School Democrat - 85%
New Democrat - 85%
Foreign Policy Hawk - 45%
Libertarian - 30%
Socially Conservative Republican - 15%
Pro Business Republican - 0%

Who Should You Vote For?

2008-02-02T10:15:00.000-05:00

Who should you vote for?

Mike Gravel		120
Barack Obama		100
Hillary Clinton		72
Ron Paul		2
John McCain	-30
Mitt Romney	-102
Mike Huckabee	-108

You expected: Barack Obama
Your recommendation: Mike Gravel

Party: Democratic
Born: 1930, Springfield, Massachusetts
Family: Married twice. Two children and four grandchildren
Career: US Army; Special Agent in the Counter Intelligence Corps; taxi driver; barman; brakeman; property developer
Political career: 3rd Speaker of the Alaska House of Representatives, 1965-6; US Senator from Alaska 1969-1981. Environment and Public Works and Finance and Interior Committees; chaired the Energy, Water Resources, and Environmental Pollution subcommittees
Hot topic: Fair tax
Did you know? Born to French-Canadian immigrant parents, Marie Bourassa and Alphonse Gravel; Mike spoke only French until he was seven years old
Supported by: Ralph Nader

Pantyhose Quiz

2008-02-01T12:26:00.000-05:00

Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?

Now, think about it... Ready?

scroll down

Answer:

10 little piggies,

2 calves,

1 ass,

an unknown number of hares,
...

And, of course, 1 ...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I suppose that some pantyhose may also harbor dozens of crabs, too. Now wouldn't that be lousy!

Note: The original pantyhose quiz--the part preceding my lousy addition--was a bit of humor emailed to me recently, not my own creation. I did modify it slightly, by substituting calves for the original cows. It's the perfectionist in me, sad to say.

New Wine For Seniors

2008-01-29T18:29:00.000-05:00

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produces Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as...

Pinot More.

(I heard it through the grapevine)

Must Canadians Hate America?

2008-01-23T12:04:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I read with great interest the editorial by CBC Radio Ideas producer Richard Handler, titled Must we hate America?. I feel so strongly about this issue that yesterday evening I composed the following response, which I submitted today via the feedback link at the end of the article.

I appreciate the acknowledgment that many Canadians greatly enjoy putting down America and Americans--almost as much as they enjoy hearing the putdowns. The frequency with which the barbs are made, the air of superiority and snideness with which they are delivered, and the grins and laughter with which they are received are both hurtful and galling to Americans in your midst, myself included. When I married my Canadian husband and immigrated to Ontario in 2005 I was totally unprepared for the anti-American sentiment expressed so readily and so often. Had I not been head-over-heels in love I would have returned to my home in the USA after my first few weeks here. My warm feelings and admiration for Canada were squelched by the attitudes and vitriol I heard with respect to America (make that "disrespect to America"), and continue to hear, all around me--on television, on the CBC Radio One, and in comments from Canadians who don't realize that I am an American (until they hear my "accent"). Enough already! I know that America is a big target due to its leadership role in the world and to the miserable consequences of the horrors and injustices wrought by the Bush administration. I can appreciate that it must not be easy to live so near and be so dependent on the USA economically and militarily. And I appreciate the analogy made by Pierre Trudeau that living next to the USA "is in some ways like sleeping with an elephant". What I don't appreciate are all the snide comments and the holier-than-thou attitude that I hear. I have lived in Canada for two-and-a-half years now and have yet to hear any praise for America...for anything! I feel like an unwanted stepchild forced to hear derisive comments about my mother at my stepmother's family reunion.

Is it because Canadians have such a huge inferiority complex that they have adopted such a chip on their shoulders with regard to America? Or is it because, in the words of singer-songwriter Kris Kristofferson, "everybody's gotta have somebody to look down on", and Canadians have chosen to look down on America because it is politically correct here to do so? Do Canadians attempt to deflect attention from Canadian-caused troubles and foibles by pointing fingers south of the border? That's what it looks, and feels, like to me. After hearing so much anti-American sentiment, including self-righteous condemnation of Southern slavery and Japanese internment camps and the way American Indians were treated and how environmentally irresponsible, fat, racist and poorly educated we Americans are, I was shocked to learn about Canada's own history with regard to slavery, internment camps, aboriginal peoples, and xenophobia. I was shocked to learn of how environmentally irresponsible Canada is--sure, recycling is a bigger deal here but just look at the pollution generated by the oil fields and witness the raping of the forests and the huge number of gas-guzzling vehicles on the roads. I was amazed to see so many fat people in Canada. I was shocked by the poor spelling and grammar I encountered when reading Canadian blog posts, by the blank looks when I mention Indiana (my home state), and by the poor mathematical skills I witnessed when trying to get correct change at the grocery when the electronic cash register failed. After hearing so many derogatory remarks about the lack of a national healthcare plan south of the border (where Canada's "free" healthcare is envied) I was dismayed to learn that in Canada there are severe shortages of primary care physicians and hospital beds, no dental, vision or prescription coverage (except for senior citizen prescriptions), and that many Canadians must pay for additional health coverage to cover these deficits and that many even go abroad for treatment. After hearing ad nauseum about America's indebtedness to other countries, especially China, I was shocked to hear that Canada is divesting itself of so many of its assets, allowing other countries to own its resources and industries and outsourcing textile and apparel manufacturing jobs (sadly, even Hudson Bay clothing is now made abroad), relegating Canadians to remain the proverbial "hewers of wood,drawers of water". After hearing how deplorable the distribution of wealth is in the USA I was surprised to see the same unequal distribution here, with taxpayers paying through the nose for everything (especially hydro and gasoline) while CEOs and politicians "earn" exorbitant salaries, bonuses and severance packages. The disdain expressed by Canadians for the American propensity for patronizing big box stores and owning guns didn't prepare me for the mobs of shoppers I saw flocking to my local Canadian Wal-Mart or for the number of guns, including handguns, owned by Canadians and the animosity toward the gun registry. The Canadian contempt for the minutely scrutinized American government certainly didn't prepare me for the scandals and deplorable lack of transparency I note in the Canadian government.

From the way Americans had been put down I had expected to find myself living in a country of well-educated, morally and physically superior beings. Not so at all! When the realization of all this hit me I was initially both relieved--Canadians are no better than Americans!--and infuriated--how dare Canadians be so blatantly hypocritical! Over time some of my anger at the hypocrisy has diminished, enough so that I can continue to live in Canada, but it's a sore point for me, and I suspect for other Americans here as well. So in answer to your title question, Must We Hate Americans?: apparently you must. It's easier and more satisfying to whine and sneer at America's faults than to correct those of Canada. From what I have seen so far, Canada is about twenty to thirty years behind America; what happens south of the border eventually happens in Canada. So don't be too smug. Just wait.

While searching for an image to include with this blog post I found this article by J.J. McCullough, a bright young Canadian cartoonist in British Columbia, corroborating my views. His attitude toward Canadian-American relations is refreshing to read:

People often praise me for not being anti-American, because that seems to be an all-too-common characteristic among Canadians satirists. I honestly believe that institutionalized Canadian anti-Americanism is the root cause of most problems with this country.

The image I found came from here, a thoughtful post made in 2006 by United Kingdom blogger Clive Davis.

Respect and Gratitude for Those Whose Lives Have Been Sacrificed For Us

2008-01-08T13:02:00.000-05:00

(Click on image to enlarge)

Funny, in a bittersweet sort of way. Poor pigs certainly tend to get the short end of the stick when it comes to their relationship with humans, don't they!

The Three Dreams of a Man

2008-01-08T12:58:00.000-05:00

The three dreams of a man:

1. To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
2. To be as rich as his child believes.
3. To have as many women as his wife suspects.

Married Life

2008-01-03T16:23:00.000-05:00

One night, after the couple had retired for the night, the woman became aware that her husband was touching her in a most unusual manner.

He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back.

He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly.

Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist.

He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other.

His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle probing then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and the returned to do the same to her right thigh.

By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself.

The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed.

“Why are you stopping darling?" she whispered.

He whispered back, “I found the remote!"

Sex Therapy

2007-12-30T16:41:00.000-05:00

A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them.

The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave them thorough physical examinations, psychological tests, and various tests and then concluded, ''Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you. On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and some doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue."

He continued, ''Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut.''

The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful. They told their friends, Mr. and Mrs. Green that they should see the good doctor.

The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical examinations and the same battery of tests. Then he told the Greens the bad news. ''I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be. I cannot help.''

The Greens pleaded with him, and said, ''You helped our friends the Browns, now please, please help us."

"Okay. Go to the store and buy some apples and a box of Cheerios...''

New Student

2007-12-27T18:44:00.000-05:00

It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the
son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said,
'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for
Pedro, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775." "Very good!" apprised the
teacher.

"Now, who said, "Government of the people, by the people,for the people,
shall not perish from the earth?" Again, no response except from
Pedro, who announced, "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class,you should be ashamed! Pedro, who
is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!"

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans!"

"Who said that?" she demanded. Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie,1836."

At that point, a student in the back said,"I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glared and asked, "All right!Now, who said that?" Again, Pedro
answered, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!" Pedro jumped out
of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to
Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now, with almost a mob hysteria, teacher said,"You little shit. If you say
anything else, I'll kill you!"
Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra
Levy, 2001."

The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor,
someone said, "Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble now!"
Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein,2003."

Finally someone threw an eraser at Pedro and someone shouted "Duck"!
The now groggy but conscious teacher asked, "Who said that? "
Pedro replied, "Dick Cheney 2006!"

Istanbul (not Constantinople)

2007-12-25T21:21:00.001-05:00

A remarkable slideshow created by a Turkish tour guide, featuring beautiful Istanbul and accompanied by the delightful, energetic and humorous song "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)".

"Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night

Every gal in Constantinople
Lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople
So if you've a date in Constantinople
She'll be waiting in Istanbul

Even old New York was once New Amsterdam
Why they changed it I can't say
People just liked it better that way

So take me back to Constantinople
No, you can't go back to Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works
That's nobody's business but the Turks

Istanbul (Istanbul)
Istanbul (Istanbul)

From the About this Video:

Istanbul is Turkey's most populous city, and its cultural and financial center.In its long history, Istanbul (Constantinople) served as the capital city of the Roman Empire (330-395), the Byzantine Empire (395-1204 and 1261-1453), the Latin Empire (1204-1261), and the Ottoman Empire (1453-1922).

Frosty Funny

2007-12-24T17:48:00.000-05:00

click image to enlarge

(from an email forwarded by my brother)

BeFunkified!

2007-12-22T14:04:00.000-05:00

Today on Clipmarks I found a fun photo-manipulating site called BeFunky and, of course, was immediately compelled to befunkify myself.

Quite flattering, eh wot?

Nun brains may help unlock secrets of Alzheimer's

2007-12-21T19:47:00.001-05:00

clipped from www.cnn.com

Two decades ago, Sister Treanor and 677 other members of the School Sisters of Notre Dame granted a young researcher's request to test them each year

The mission: Tracking the progression of Alzheimer's disease and other age-related brain disorders

The 61 surviving nuns recently completed their last round of intellectual and physical tests for the Nun Study, one of the world's most comprehensive neurological research projects

One final sacrifice remains: When they die, their brains will be taken for further study, joining a collection of hundreds of other brains donated by the the nuns who died before them

Snowdon's work already has produced interesting results, including a finding that people who challenge themselves intellectually can apparently delay or prevent the onset of Alzheimer's symptoms

About half the nuns in the study developed Alzheimer's disease or other forms of dementia before they died, about similar to the general population

It's such a cool study

Nun Study -- valuable research into aging. And it's also okay with the Pope!

Ode to Cranky Men

2007-12-19T11:28:00.000-05:00

I chanced to pass a window

While walking through a mall

With nothing much upon my mind,

Quite blank as I recall.

I noticed in that window

A cranky-faced old man,

And why he looked so cranky

I didn't understand.

Just why he looked at me that way

Was more than I could see

Until I came to realize

That cranky man was ME!

(found on Have Fun With English)

Don't Look Now, But ....

2007-12-18T21:59:00.000-05:00

(click picture to enlarge)

The Difference Between Women and Men

2007-12-15T18:06:00.001-05:00

For all us women

2007-12-14T15:07:00.000-05:00

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, "No."

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.

"Is this your thimble?" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, "Yes." The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney. "Is this your husband?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the seamstress. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The seamstress replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.

Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.

And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of this story is: Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others. That's our story, and we're sticking to it.

Signed,

All Us Women

(My Note: received as an email, so no attribution possible, unfortunately)

Attention! Aliens Are Coming!

2007-12-13T16:57:00.000-05:00

ATTENTION

ALIENS ARE COMING TO ABDUCT ALL THE GOOD LOOKING AND SEXY PEOPLE.

YOUR BUTT IS SAFE. I'M JUST POSTING TO SAY GOODBYE.

Christmas Carols for Disturbed Friends

2007-12-13T16:09:00.000-05:00

1. Schizophrenia -- Do I Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Kings Disoriented Are
3. Dementia - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas
4. Narcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
5. Manic - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and....
6. Paranoid - Santa Claus is Coming To Town To Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder - Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, and I Don't Know Why
9. Attention Deficit Disorder - Silent Night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells.. .

(received in an email from a disturbed friend) :D