Saturday, February 23, 2008

The Difference Between Heaven and Hell


A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, "I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."

The Lord opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly and they appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a handful.

However, because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

The Lord said, "You have seen Hell."

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.

The people were equipped with the same long handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The holy man said, "I don't understand."

"It is simple," said the Lord. "It requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves."

Monday, February 18, 2008

What's Your Political Philosophy?

What's Your Political Philosophy?

You scored as a Green

The Green Party believes in an America where decisions are made by the people and not by a few giant corporations. Their environmental goal is a sustainable world where nature and human society co-exist in harmony.

Green - 90%
Old School Democrat - 85%
New Democrat - 85%
Foreign Policy Hawk - 45%
Libertarian - 30%
Socially Conservative Republican - 15%
Pro Business Republican - 0%

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Who Should You Vote For?

Who should you vote for?
Mike Gravel120
Barack Obama100
Hillary Clinton72
Ron Paul2
John McCain-30
Mitt Romney-102
Mike Huckabee-108
You expected: Barack Obama
Your recommendation: Mike Gravel

Party: Democratic
Born: 1930, Springfield, Massachusetts
Family: Married twice. Two children and four grandchildren
Career: US Army; Special Agent in the Counter Intelligence Corps; taxi driver; barman; brakeman; property developer
Political career: 3rd Speaker of the Alaska House of Representatives, 1965-6; US Senator from Alaska 1969-1981. Environment and Public Works and Finance and Interior Committees; chaired the Energy, Water Resources, and Environmental Pollution subcommittees
Hot topic: Fair tax
Did you know? Born to French-Canadian immigrant parents, Marie Bourassa and Alphonse Gravel; Mike spoke only French until he was seven years old
Supported by: Ralph Nader

Friday, February 1, 2008

Pantyhose Quiz



Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?

Now, think about it... Ready?


scroll down








Answer:

10 little piggies,

animated piggyanimated piggyanimated piggyanimated piggyanimated piggyanimated piggyanimated piggyanimated piggyanimated piggyanimated piggy



2 calves,

calfcalf

1 ass,
ass

an unknown number of hares,
hareshareshareshareshareshareshareshareshareshareshares ... hareshares

And, of course, 1 ...

pussycat

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I suppose that some pantyhose may also harbor dozens of crabs, too. Now wouldn't that be lousy!

crab lousecrab lousecrab lousecrab lousecrab lousecrab louse

Note: The original pantyhose quiz--the part preceding my lousy addition--was a bit of humor emailed to me recently, not my own creation. I did modify it slightly, by substituting calves for the original cows. It's the perfectionist in me, sad to say.